**********
Being upfront (How to say no I can’t afford it !)
My personal view with family and friends is to be upfront about what you can and can’t afford wherever you feel okay to do so. If you have a partner encourage them to talk to their family and fireinds too. If you can have that uncomfortable conversation about how now you have a little one your funds are limited and you aren’t going to be able to spend money like you used to that will make a big difference. Once it’s said its out there and smaller gifts, refusals for meals out et. will /should be met with understanding.
Offering alternatives
Not buying gifts at all or never socialising can make others feel uncared about. Money is not the spice of liffe thought is..so passing on an appropriate book you have read as a gift or a bunch of flowers from your garden can mean a great deal. Inviting friends to yours for a big pot of soup after a winter walk is lovely and costs no where near the same as a night out. Pop your thinking cap on…doing something is always better received than doing nothing,
When you can’t say…..
If the friendship is too new or lacks the depth necessary for you to be able to say you are skint then stock up on excuses and make sure they aren’t time linited.
e.g If your answer to an invite out is ‘I am busy that day’ it will just result in another day being offered. Instead say ‘Oh I much prefer to cook myself and invite everyoine to yours, making a course each.
e.g Instead of saying that the swimming course was full when you tried to enrol your child say something like we are currently thinking we’d prefer to teach her ourselves.
eg Rather than aplologising for your gift to them saying it’ll be bigger next time state proudly that you have put lots of thought into this gift and you truly hope they like it.
Good luck! and please remember if someone falls out with you because you have little money they were probaly never worth your energy in the first place..
 |
| Image copyright: sweetandsimplestyle |
Brilliant post!
ReplyDeleteI work freelance as you know, so some months can be quite flush (we like these months!) and other months much leaner! We have to budget to take the rise and fall in income, so are ever mindful of what we can and can't afford.
We find honesty the best policy. The one (and only!) good thing the recession has done is to open people's eyes and make them realise that people can just be skint! It's not the huge embarrassment it once was, but alarmingly common.
My family and friends know that some months money can be tighter than others and an honest "Not this month, bills coming out of our ears and the MOT due!" isn't even blinked at. Sometime living on a tighter budget can be stressful, taking away the secrecy of it has made a bit difference to us!!